How It Ends

As Republican lawmakers give their tongue bath to poisonous SCOTUS nominee Brett Kavanaugh, this piece by legendary journalist Bob Woodward drops that paints an even more terrifying picture of the Trump White House than previously known.

I mean, I'm glad some folks in the administration are trying to prevent greater catastrophe by simply hiding stuff from Trump, BUT IT SURE WOULD BE NICE IF SOME PEOPLE COULD GROW A SPINE AND SPEAK OUT PUBLICLY ABOUT THIS.

Don't just retire and then get loud. Don't stay off the record and behind closed doors. DO SOMETHING, YOU COWARDS. If Trump truly poses this much danger to our country (and I believe he does), it is not enough to merely sabotage a little bit here and there behind the scenes.

(it also makes it all the more galling to see those who are still happily kissing the ring at this point, and so focused on preserving their fleeting sense of petty power that they would install a monster-enabling judge to a lifetime appointment on our highest court to do it, consequences be damned)

Further reading: Why Brett Kavanaugh's nomination and potential lifetime appointment to the SCOTUS is a real and present danger to everything from reproductive rights to the environment to LGBTQ rights to our very democracy.

A chapter closes

This past weekend saw the publication of my final opinion column with the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel.

It's a bittersweet ending, to be sure. I'm ready to move on to new and different kinds of writing (having an Opinion on a weekly schedule can get to be a little exhausting), but I also recognize that their decision to end the section entirely is sadly indicative of larger problems and challenges facing newsrooms across the country.

The MJS was locally owned for decades before Gannett (which owns USA Today and 14 other papers in Wisconsin) bought it out in 2016. There have been several rounds of layoffs and budget cuts over time, as old school attitudes toward the news business have become increasingly obsolete - but the people with power over them continue to make poor and/or desperate decisions that see deep cuts being made to substantive local reporting and dedicated, knowledgeable reporting staffs.

Fewer people are being made to do more with less. More wire stories run, creating duplication between newspapers and gutting any real local connection (or reason for people to subscribe to/read something that's ostensibly locally printed because all they see in it are national wire stories and, too often, forcibly syndicated op-eds and editorials that reflect the corporate and political interests of the owners, not the actual staff).

I've had the privilege and pleasure of working with truly supportive and hardworking editors during my time with the MJS. They never once tried to influence my choice of topic or opinion, only offering light copy editing and fact-checking as needed. They and many other reporters at the MJS do truly great work with very little support. I honestly hope the pivot toward "solutions-based journalism" reaps rewards both in terms of community engagement and financial sustainability - but I also recognize that it's an increasingly uphill battle for the latter in particular.

I don't have the answer yet for how to make quality news reporting a sustainable endeavor again. I've been part of a start-up non-profit media outlet that attempted a grassroots approach to the problem, and we managed for about 8 years before throwing in the towel. It was an eye-opening experience. Lots of well-meaning liberal/progressive people and organizations assured us that by becoming a non-profit we would reap financial support from sympathetic sources, but we quickly learned that 1) most of the money is on the other side, and 2) the money that is ostensibly on the side of progressive causes is tightly held and often narrowly applied to groups/people working on issues near and dear to the already well-off. Surprise!

Anyway, before this becomes an even more unwieldy post, I mostly just wanted to say that, despite all of the examples of really nasty feedback I received during my time writing for the MJS, I got at least as much in the way of positive and supportive emails and personal comments from folks all across Wisconsin.

I learned about folks living in far-flung rural communities and other medium and large cities about their experiences and frustrations trying to do the right thing for the greater good in the midst of such a divided and often vitriolic public discourse.

We remain a very purple state, in point of fact.

As far as I could tell, however, the vast majority of the feedback I got came from folks in their middle age and up. I think that's telling about the struggle news outlets like the MJS have to remain relevant to younger people - who, despite what some pearl-clutching pundits might have you believe, are by and large incredibly engaged in their communities and driven to do good work to build a better world. They are, in my experience, light years ahead of us in several key areas. I have hope.

Part of that hope includes eventually figuring out newer and better ways of sharing information and ideas, and collaborating on work that lifts us all. That will mean some things many of us have always known or grown used to will have to come to an end, and that can be scary/painful. But we have to learn how to let go of certain things in order to make space for new life to grow and flourish. Let Millenials kill Hooters and diamonds and even consumerism. Let new generations cast off old institutions that reinforce gatekeeping by one narrow demographic, and embrace a messier, more diverse, more inclusive public sphere. Let's use our big ol' brains to figure out new and different ways to support one another.

Some things must burn, so that greener shoots may grow in their place. We just have to make sure the outgoing regime doesn't fully poison the ground behind it.

Mail Call #15: Wrong, and Racist!

Hello hello! A whole bunch of kids and teachers were murdered in their school recently, and the national conversation has once again turned to What Can We Do? I wrote about it. I fully expected to get some...interesting...responses, and boy did I.

Today, I'd like to focus on one in particular that feels fairly representative of a particular genre of political and social thought that is still all-too prevalent in America. It's based in false premises, racism, sexism, and a sort of peculiar fatalism inherent in so much of the unwillingness to really face the core issues that lead to things like mass shootings.

Anyway, here's the email, annotated!

It struck me that the terrified students prayed when in danger. Remember praying isn't allowed in public schools.

OK I'mma stop you right there: This is a lie. Anyone can still pray in public schools. It simply cannot be an organized/school-sanctioned event, because, you know, for now we still live in a country with separation of church and state, and there are kids from all different religious and non-religious backgrounds in these schools, so prioritizing one flavor of religion over another would be pretty shitty and exclusionary. Also, you don't know how those kids reacted. Some probably prayed, sure. But you don't get to make a blanket statement like that.

And there you have insight into the core cause of our social problems. The Democrats/politicians always want to solve every thing with legislation. That's fine do it. Hasn't stopped the drugs. Burn the NRA down. Fine wont stop the guns.

This is that fatalism I was talking about. Strange, coming from the folks who are usually so hardcore law-and-order, this "why do we bother passing laws at all they don't work" POV. Why anything, indeed?

Our problems are behavioral. Our society is now subject to mass shootings, massive drug usage, road rage, hit and runs, adultery, perversion, abortion, hate speech, scammers, homeless, rapists, bullying, weak soft kids (USA Olympic kids showed that) and more, at unprecedented levels we have ever seen and it's growing and will get worse.

OK now you're gonna shit on the young Olympic athletes? What the hell, man? Many of them kicked ass in their competitions, and I'm gonna go out on a limb and guess that they've worked harder at this one thing than dear letter writer has at much of anything in his life. What a weird thing to harp on. The rest of his list is pretty standard, alas.

As we have tried to remove God from our culture, broken up the family, have kids who have grown up without even knowing who their father is, minimized responsibility, ignored marriage, shunned religion, and mongralized our cities, what are you going end up with. A society and culture of the above paragraph.

"Mongralized." Gee, what on Earth could he be dog whistling here, I wonder?

This has been a slow progression over many years. I am no sociologist

NO REALLY?! GET OUT. No, really, get out.

but take away the cornerstones of the family and everything that goes with it and the void will be filled by people who have lost their way. We have a very sick country right now, particularity high school kids who are under a lot of social pressure to be liked and fit in. I remember. We wanted progress, we wanted liberalization, at the expense of our core foundations, were getting it. Legislate away. Behavior is in the mind.

Ah, the old "when you're young, you're liberal - when you're older, you're conservative!" line my own aunt tried to use on me a few times. Dude, I'm sorry, but this just means you're getting more bitter and closed off in your old age. Doesn't happen to everyone, thank goodness.

A whole lotta me

Thanks to Craig Sauer for inviting me to be a guest on The Wisconsin Podcast! It's kind of rare that I get to be the one being interviewed, as opposed to the other way around, so it was great fun. You may also be unsurprised to find out that I can talk.

Topics covered ranged from my upbringing, coming out as queer, having a pastor father, writing weekly opinions for the MJS and dealing with online commentary/insults, the value and risk of social media, the hows and whys of Our Lives magazine and being an editor, roller derby, and the 2011 Wisconsin protests and state politics generally. SO MUCH STUFF.

Listen here: https://www.wispod.com/podcast-political-commentary-in-a-divisive-era-emily-mills-17/

And be sure to give his podcast the ol' subscribe!

Best of 2017 Music Mix Tape

All right, here it is! Finally winnowed down my picks for my annual mix tape to something that fits on an honest-to-goodness CD. But you can listen to it on Spotify RIGHT NOW if you want!

What a fucking year. Good music becomes all the more important in keeping us sane and focused and also allowed to sometimes check out from this too often cruel and ridiculous world. I take enormous comfort in the continued dedication of humankind in creating art, though, and all those day-to-day small acts of kindness that persist.

But seriously, 2017 can pretty much get fucked. This music, however, can definitely stay. Lots of amazing work coming out of all genres, despite what some of the naysayers like to claim (ahem Bono). Music is alive and thriving. A lot of it definitely reflects the current atmosphere, too, with deeply political messages.

Obviously, this is never meant to be a definitive "best songs of the year" list so much as a "some of my favorite songs that came out this year" so it is highly subjective and likely misses a whole bunch of real good stuff. (I even try to capture more in my main/longer list here)

Enjoy! And feel free to let me know in the comments what songs and artists you were digging on this year.

TRACK LIST:
1. "Blood in the Cut" - K.Flay
2. "Cut Connection" - Jesca Hoop
3. "Die Young" - Sylvan Esso
4. "Drew Barrymore" - SZA
5. "Disco Tits" - Tove Lo
6. "Woman" - Kesha
7. "Momentz (ft. De La Soul)" - Gorillaz
8. "Antifa" - Ministry
9. "Venus and Serena (ft. Taj Raiden & Q the Sun) - Lex Allen
10. "Uncle Usi Taught Me" - Brother Ali
11. "Atalanta" - Rina Mushonga
12. "Cold Little Heart" - Michael Kiwanuka
13. "Fool's Errand" - Fleet Foxes
14. "Back In Your Life" - TINA & HER PONY
15. "Fire" - Beth Ditto
16. "Strangers (ft. Lauren Jauregui)" - Halsey
17. "VRY BLK (ft. Noname)" - Jamila Woods
18. "Two Thousand and Seventeen" - Four Tet

NOTES:

1. K.Flay has had herself an interesting career in a short period of time, surfing the lines between genres and now seemingly settling into a really interesting spot that blends elements of roots country and electronica in a way that I decidedly do not hate.

2. I've loved Jesca Hoop since I saw her open, years ago, for either Ani DiFranco or the Ditty Bops (I honestly can't remember which). She has such a unique take on folk that I hesitate to even call it folk. Just good stuff, and doesn't really sound like anyone else. I think she may secretly exist on an entirely different plane.

3. Sylvan Esso stormed onto the scene with their debut record, and I adored the mix of quality lady vocals, poetic lyrics, and creative electronic underpinnings. Plus, the fella in the group is from Middleton, Wisconsin (right next door to Madison), so their tour stops here are always super packed and fun, with shoutouts to parents in the crowd.

4. SZA came to my attention thanks to a DJ friend of mine (mad thanks to Lolo) dropping her track, "Julia," in the middle of a set a little over a year ago. I've been hooked ever since, and thank goodness, because her newest album, Ctrl, is fantastic. Definitely check out the whole thing. Consider SZA part of the bleeding edge of the insanely good/evolving genre of alt. hip-hop/R&B/electronica. I don't even know what to call it, frankly.

5. I'm a little obsessed with Tove Lo. Turns out she's amazing live, too, with great production value and live band elements, plus costume changes! All on what must be a pretty tight budget, from what I can tell. I appreciate the hell out of her commitment to raw and honest tunes with dark techno underpinnings but superbly poppy hooks. And being unabashedly sexual. Also her videos are works of art, generally. If you haven't seen "Fairy Dust" yet, get on it.

6. KESHA, Hot damn, what a re-debut album this is. She came back from years of fighting with her old label for freedom from an abusive producer with full proof that she's an incredible artist. Fuck the haters. Also, tell true, this record is definitive proof that she'd been undervalued and underused by said old label and fuckwad producer, because her voice is legit, the lyrics are delightful, and the genre-bending (from country to dirty rock to electro-pop) is done with aplomb. I struggled between including "Woman" vs. "Old Flames" because the latter is a spectacular duet with the amazing Dolly Parton. But you can't really beat "I'm a motherfuckin' WOMAN" for a refrain, so. Anyway, point is, GOOD FOR YOU KESHA, GET IT ALL KESHA. And fuck rape culture.

7. It's been a long time since Gorillaz put out a record, and their strange and wonderful Humanz pretty much made up for the lapse. What can I say? It's strange as hell, but it just works. Bonus: De La Soul!

8. I'm always excited when an old industrial band puts out new shit that's actually good and relevant. Ministry pulled that off with "Antifa," from AmeriKKKant, which is obviously super duper political and timely. It's all the grungy guitars and stompy beats and biting commentary/quotes that I want and love in my angry tunes.

9. Lex Allen is from Milwaukee, and I've had the pleasure to both meet and see this incredibly dynamic and delightful human perform live on several occasions. The video for this track in particular is an awesome ode to body positivity and basically a big ol' queer celebration. What's not to love? Cat is going places.

10. Good Brother Ali always lays out the real shit with pointed but smooth lyricism, and this tale of travel woes and discrimination and the wisdom of our elders is no exception.

11. I stumbled randomly onto this Rina Mushonga track thanks to Spotify's wanderings and have been in love with it and her music generally ever since. Kind of a lovely cross between R&B, Caribbean rhythms, and some nameless soul of the city (with hints of Little Dragon). I look forward to hearing a lot more from her.

12. Michael Kiwanuka was also a random Spotify find, but I immediately dug his throwback Motown/TSOP-inspired sound. I think this track got some radio play, and rightly so. Great groove.

13. I've yet to be disappointed with a Fleet Foxes record. They have such a distinctive sound that it would be easy for it to become repetitive, but somehow they infuse each new album with fresh energy, and frankly the sound is so lovely that I don't mind some amount of familiarity between efforts. Their music makes me want to wander in the woods and go barefoot in streams.

14. TINA AND HER PONY were introduced to me by a family member who is a huge folk and roots fan, and saw them perform a criminally under-attended show here in Madison. He's since made it his mission to tell more people about them, and hopefully bring them back to town to a better response. I think they're worth it.

15. Holy shit was this solo Beth Ditto record everything I could have hoped for. I'd always enjoyed her work with Gossip, but it always felt like one final element was always lacking to keep their music from feeling complete. Hard to put my finger on. Whatever it was, though, got added to this solo endeavor--it feels full. Fantastic grooves, and that big, beautiful voice to tie it all together.

16. I'm supposed to like Halsey because she's an out bisexual (solidarity!) but I'm a little hit and miss with her work. I really, really like this song, however, and good Lord if I am not a sucker after all for a duet between two women, who sing openly about a relationship between two women. All in a lush, wistful pop tune? Count me in.

17. I came to Jamila Woods' song via recently discovering the work of Noname, who joins her on this playful but serious song about identity, racism, and solidarity. All good stuff, check them both out.

18. It felt appropriate to end the mix with this gorgeous song by instrumental electronic outfit Four Tet, from their newest record, New Energy. I honestly just enjoy everything they do so much, but this track in particular feels extra special. Good way to ring out the old year, refresh, and get ready to do better in the new. Plus, I'm always a sucker for hammer dulcimer.

Mail Call #14: Churlishly Yours

I write about economics and immediately my age and maturity are called into question. Though, hey, given that my photo appears with all of my columns, I suppose I should take it as a compliment of my youthful glow that this guy thinks I'm in my mid-20s (I'm 35, btw):

I'm astonished by your attempt to discredit such tremendous economic news, but I immediately recognize it as a reflection of your hatred for "Walker" and President Trump. You should recuse yourself from writing about either until you're willing to accept that both are capable of doing some very good things. 

I think in a few years, maybe by the time you're 30, you'll be able give even your most hated political villains, credit where due and not write such churlish immature nonsense.

This is a theme that continues throughout much of the hatred of my columns - that all of my criticism of Walker and/or Trump stems from me being a sore loser, and just hating any and all politicians with an (R) after their name.

That may be a pleasant enough fantasy, and a way to easily write off anything I may have to say regardless of its actual merits, but it ain't true. Then again, I'm just a churl, so what do I know?

Mail Call #13: Dr. Jerry Zelm has a lot of time on his hands

One of my most frequent letter writers is a fella by the name of Dr. Jerry Zelm. He really, really dislikes me and my writing, and is unafraid to let me know. Frequently. Mostly I don't respond, because I don't hate myself and have better things to do with my time. But I think it's about time I gave the good doctor an ol' fashioned call-out.

Here's the latest:

Ms Mills: Like most of the liberal press you have once again lost all credibility. We finally have a non-political president who is trying to make significant improvements in this country with decisive action. Yet you and the rest of your angry and rabid friends use every occasion to obstruct. Example: Hillary whined that Comey and Russia were responsible for her losing the election. But soon as Trump does the right thing and removes him, Hillary and the rest of the liberals cry foul. Please list one single thing that you have given Pres Trump credit for ... you can't do it because your total intent is to obstruct. Emily girl, you lost ... get used to it. There's a new Sheriff in town and he's going to continue to do the right thing for those who elected him. That means a daily "butt kicking" for libs like you! Keep writing, your articles are often quite amusing!

He's available for (paid) speaking engagements, if you find this sort of thing appealing. Seems like a well-adjusted, knowledgeable guy, yeah?

Drop him a line with your thoughts. He seems really into communication.

http://www.jerryzelm.com/
gzelmchiro@yahoo.com

Mail Call #12: Actually no, it's not my job

In lieu of responding to this email sender directly, I figured I'd put this out to the world in an effort to educate folks about how opinion writing can sometimes work.

Email:

Mills-
I wrote you a week ago and am still waiting for an answer. Isn't it part of your job to answer reader email or only those that pander to the liberal viewpoint?

Paul from Menomonee Falls

Thanks for asking, Paul! To answer: No, it is not part of my job to answer any or all reader emails. I am a freelance writer, therefor not employed by the Journal Sentinel. I get paid a fixed amount to write a weekly column and that's it. The time I spend responding to reader emails is all pro bono/off the clock. I don't get paid for it. I still do it, though, when people send me thoughtful questions or stories or responses - yes, even those people who disagree with me, so long as it's in a coherent way that doesn't just spend a lot of time insulting my person.

Paul's first email, it should be noted, did not fall into that category.

So there you have it, friends: Not all opinion/column writers are employed by the papers that run their work. Actually, I'd venture to guess we're freelance more often than not, these days. And we don't get paid to spend time responding to all of the vitriol that finds it's way into our inboxes. You wanna throw me a few bucks to do it, though? Feel free.

Mail Call #11: Through the Rabbit Hole

Boy howdy, the things people say in light of my ongoing criticism of president-elect Trump. Some people act like they ain't got no relations, I swear.

Here's a greatest hits list again, for your reading (dis)pleasure:

Why don't you just hold your breath, then? All your articles are left wing bullshit. You are obviously a lesbian liberal. Just wait and see what Donald Trump will do. It's about time that the swamp is drained. You are just a poor looser. I suppose you are also crying about young women unable to get birth control. why don't they just close their legs?

I'm bisexual, actually, but thanks. This letter was also apparently sent by another woman, which is extra depressing.

Your party has been in charge the last 8 years. Your party has been in charge of the cities forever. How is all this "racism" possible? I know it is fashionable in your circles to look down on working people who get their hands dirty, your party even wrote them off in 2011. These are the people that pay the bills and they are weary of self appointed "elites" making horrible decisions in the name of globalism and diversity.

I suggest you put on your big girl pants and go out and do an honest days work for once, if you're capable of it. Maybe you would be able to gain a little perspective, or is that beneath you ? Take a look in the mirror and stop projecting your hate on to others. Stop being a crybully. Help us to make America great again!

Ooo, "crybully" is a new one.

I asked this guy why he voted for trump. This was one of the reasons he gave:

I'm concerned about the culture of the United States. It has been kind of a Dinty Moore stew with all the different races and nationalities. I would like to keep this recipe (it tastes good) as it is which means immigrations should approximate the groups that are already here. I know you probably think I am a racist regarding Mexicans but I'm not. However ... I don't want so many in this country that it becomes a Latino dominate culture. I refuse to apologize for liking my own culture and wanting to keep it.

Frankly, I wouldn't mind living in a "Latino dominate" culture but agree to (racistly) disagree, I guess.

Face it, Emily, Donald Trump could create lasting world peace, reverse “global warming”, end all wars, do away with nukes, personally create a renewable energy fuel and cure cancer, all before he even takes office and you liberals would still hate him.


Rather than take out your vitriol against the man, why don’t you get a real job (not writing for a dying newspaper) and become part of the solution instead of bashing everything he tries. How are we ever going to move forward as a country if you snowflake liberals can’t get over the fact that America did not want a old white woman who can not tell truth if she had to. Get over it.

Dude, if Trump did all of the things listed in the first paragraph I would be STOKED. Also, you might be amazed how many people seem to honestly think that my only job is writing this column. I wish it paid enough to get by on but, um, no. Just no.

Thank God not a lot of voters think like you. if you feel so depraved living here try moving to another country see how you like it.

take ur own advice get out of ur town (Madison) from time to time see how life really is. time for u to grow up act like a responsible adult

I went to school in Madison. it is truly a fucked up community. is it bc of your generation. prolly.

Blood

I'm honestly not sure if "Blood" is this person's signature or just a vaguely threatening closing note. Regardless, I don't feel terribly "depraved" living here but I'm also going to guess that this person would look at a lot of what I choose to do with my life and disagree (if they figured out the difference between "depraved" and "deprived" anyway). C'est la vie.

The "grow up" mantra is definitely a favorite go-to of my detractors, by the way. Along with the "you stupid little girl" and "you look like a man," etc. these are all pretty clear cases of ceding the argument. If you have a valid debate point, make it. You don't need to attack someone's person to do that, so when you do, it just tells me you ain't got nothing else.

Oh Emily Emily Emily. Still spewing the same old bullcrap. Example: UNARMED black people being shot by police in disproportionate numbers. Funny, why didn't you mention about armed and unarmed black people being killed by blacks?


Why don't you mention there are more whites killed by police then black. Why don't you mention that most of these black people that are shot by police would still be living if they knew how to listen to orders. I have a lot of great examples to disclaim the bullshit you spewed, but i refuse to waste any more time trying to get you to open your eyes and see what a lot of the American people feel, but you refuse to see. DEMOCRAP POLICYS dont work, THE PEOPLE HAVE SPOKEN! Every big city with all these killings, robbery s, rapes, car chases, and every other crime you can think of are all lead by DEMOCRAP mayors, every single 1 of them! Now you just hide in your little liberal hometown of MADISON, and stay away from Milwaukee because you know better! Why though? So repulsed by you idiots failure to admit, YOUR ALL FUCKED UP! People have spoken Emily! Milwaukee journal has lost so many subscribers because of liberal media like your self. WAKE THE F--K UP EMILY!!!!

You guys I think this person knows my name.

Best Music of 2016

It's that most wonderful time of year again, and frankly, after the shitshow that was 2016 generally, I'm grateful to have something to look back on that doesn't totally suck: music! In fact, a whole bunch of really excellent music came out this year--everything from iconic rappers A Tribe Called Quest riding in to the rescue, to the continued evolution of electro-pop into some really fucking lovely and dark-tinged jams from Tove Lo, to the warmly funky but deeply personal grooves of Solange and Frank Ocean.

There was so much good music, in fact, that I ended up having to do a lot of cutting in order to get a mix that fit onto an 80 minute CD. If you want the full list (which I'll likely be adding to a bit over the coming months, as I inevitably get introduced to other great music that came out in 2016) you can head over to Spotify for a listen.

The following is the pared down final mix. Obviously this doesn't include everything worthy of a year-end best-of list, but it's what I've been listening to and loving, and I hope you enjoy at least a few tracks. And please, as always, do what you can to buy these songs/albums and support the artists as much as you can.

Em's Best of 2016 Which Was Otherwise a Garbage Fire

1. "True Disaster" - Tove Lo, Lady Wood
2. "Same Old Blues" - Phantogram, Three
3. "Don't Hurt Yourself ft. Jack White" - Beyonce, Lemonade
4. "Smile More" - Deap Vally, Femejism
5. "Born Again Teen" - Lucius, Good Grief
6. "Worship" - Lizzo, Coconut Oil EP
7. "Rendezvous Girl" - Santigold, 99cents
8. "We the People..." - A Tribe Called Quest, We got it from Here... Thank You 4 Your service
9. "Long Live the Chief" - Jidenna, single
10. "U-Turn" - Tegan and Sara, Love You to Death
11. "Like an Animal" - Rufus Du Sol, Bloom
12. "Algo Esta Cambiando" - Bomba Estereo, Amanecer
13. "Garden (ft. Jay Electronica & Aine Zion)" - Ameli Sande, Long Live the Angels
14. "Make You Feel" - Alina Baraz, Urban Flora
15. "Mad (ft. Lil Wayne)" - Solange, A Seat at the Table
16. "Pink + White" - Frank Ocean, Blonde
17. "I Can't Go On Without You" - Kaleo, A/B
18. "Nobody" - Rachel Yamagata, Tightrope Walker
19. "Lazarus" - David Bowie, Blackstar
    

Emily's Handy Guide to How I Generally Respond When People React Badly to My Presence in Women's Public Restrooms

1. Them: "Oh my God it's A MAN!" Me: "Oh my God a MAN where?! WHERE?!" *jumps, squeals as though running from a spider, makes a scene until they leave/leave me alone*

2. Them: *does a double take at the sign on the door after seeing me at the sink* Me: *dramatically stares at own body, then back at them, then around the room, then gets stone cold calm and leaves while making unbroken eye contact*

3. Them: "What the fuck?! Get OUT you're not supposed to be in here!" Me: "Oh my God I'm so sorry is this the restroom for assholes? I'll show myself out."

4. Them: *sees me at sink, runs back outside and tells/yells at someone about there being a man in the restroom* Me: *calmly finishes washing hands, checks self out in mirror, strolls out of there and makes meaningful eye contact with them, possibly also winks*

5. Them: *actually does something threatening/violent* Me: "Hi hello yes you don't get to police who you think belongs in this restroom, may I please introduce you to my friend the ACLU."

6. Them: *is startled for a moment, then realizes their mistake and smiles bashfully* Me: "It's cool, have a good day." *bows and/or curtsies and disappears into a puff of glitter and smoke*

(take care of yourselves/do what you need to do to stay safe and healthy, babes) xoxoxo

Mail Call #10: Trumpocalypse

It's been a weird, depressing week. I can only imagine it's going to get even more weird and depressing going forward into a Trump presidency (ugh, why are you making me write that, America?!). The email responses to my last MJS column - my initial response to the election results - certainly seem to back up that assessment.

Here's a Greatest Hits:

The Constitution won with Trump's election, even though I am not a fan of the man. Liberalism lost because it discriminates against any opposition to their views and agenda. Especially white Christians. You liberals believe white Christians vote on color and racism. If you knew any of us, you would know it is about policy, not skin color. Maybe people of color will finally realize why not try a Republican. Democrats sure talk a good story but have never helped us or respected us. Your young, hopefully you can be more objective in your future!

What do you say, people of color who overwhelmingly voted against Donald Trump? Why not try a Republican/demagogue? Here's another one:

When Barack Obama won two terms for the Presidency there were few, if any, protests from conservatives. Yet now there is hatred and protests across the country against Donald Trump's election. It's been said that liberals don't know how to lose graciously. I love the Packers, but if they don't win another game this season it won't bother me that much, because the real Super Bowl was November 8th and the conservatives won. Long live Democracy and America.

Conservatives didn't protest? Actually, they did. And then they went to town demonizing Obama, accusing him of being a Marxist Kenyan usurper, hanging him in effigy, and blocking him at every turn in Congress, even going so far as refusing to do their basic duty and allow a vote on his final Supreme Court nominee. The list goes on. But tell me again how y'all accepted Obama's presidency with graciousness. And then compare the election of an openly racist demagogue with a fucking Packers game.

This was a nice letter [sic]:

The citizens of this country have finally stood up to slime like you!You lazy bitches who NEVER worked a day in you life are about to be put back in your RAT holes where you belong! You and others like you have turned the democrat party into a cesspool of perverts,degenerates, and illegals! Hopefully you will be relegated to your place in history with the other EXTINCT vermin!

Hey, I like my party of perverts, degenerates, and "illegals" (i.e. human beings from various walks of life who are looking for a better life). And I've held jobs since I was 15, but that's neither here nor there, since I am apparently a lazy rat bitch (rats make good pets, FYI).

Try and get over the results of this election. I understand how Obama won the 1st time, but the 2nd time threw me for a loop because his 1st term was a failure. So is his 2nd term. But we didn't take to the streets and riot.

Americans are starved for leadership since there has been a shortage for the last 8 yrs.What Trump said over a decade ago about women does not diminish his ability to be a leader. I have heard worse in the breakroom of where I work.........from the women.

In fact, I bet you used a similar phrase at some point in your life.

Uh, no, no I have not.

A friend of mine made me aware of a article you wrote called feels like the sky is falling. I will make this short and sweet, get your head out of your ass and write a article about the rioting being done and hate crimes being done by your party the DEMOCRAPS. 1 of the many reasons i don't read the this rag the MILWAUKEE URINAL. Your a typical LIBTARD living in your own blind little world. THE PEOPLE HAVE SPOKEN BITCH! GET OVER IT! I think your a woman, sorta hard to tell from your picture. Good day LIB! 4 years from now you will be a conservative, oh i take that back, you will still be in denial!

He seems nice.

I'll end it on this note (though I got plenty of other...entertaining...letters). This one really caught my interest. I think this gets more at the root of the disconnect in how a lot of white voters approached the election. I won't dismiss the author's feelings outright, though I still think they're based in a very privileged/white POV and experience of America. The pain and fear expressed here are real, I've no doubt. But the blame is, I think, utterly misplaced. So how do we go about addressing that in an effective way?

The people who are protesting and rioting in the streets over the election are providing positive proof that we did it right. Or at least as right as was possible.

Sure, Mr. Trump is a shining example of what we don't want in our president. I voted for him because there was no other choice. No good Republicans were left; even Bernie would have been better (a bit screwy, but probably harmless). Vote for the Bride of Satan? Never! I have read that she was kicked off the Watergate legal team in the 1980's for self-serving unethical behavior, and I would say she has gone downhill from that ever since.

The people who have been the backbone of America for generations are desperate. We (factory workers, farmers, etc.), hard workers all our lives, have watched America die for fifty years. If we passed laws they were overturned by liberal judges or simply ignored. Laws to keep out criminals (anyone who crosses the Rio Grande without papers is a criminal) are not enforced. Our jobs were sent to China or given to illegals. We were (are) ignored.


We might not be able to return our country to greatness, as Mr. Trump wants. It is probably too late for that. But maybe we can reverse things for a bit, slow down America's death spiral. Like a cancer patient being offered dangerous surgery that won't cure him but might give him some extra time (four years?).

We simply voted for Trump because we felt we had no other choice. There is a good chance that we will fail quickly, but he is simply the only hope we have left.

I mean, how do you show someone who thinks Trump is "the only hope we have left" that he and his ilk represent a very real and present danger to them? White folks, we have a lot of work to do on our own people. And it's going to take enormous reserves of compassion, and a willingness to get out of our own bubbles to talk to/get to know people from all walks of life. The emotional (and physical) labor of talking about how race and class impact our country and day-to-day lives has too long fallen on the shoulders of people of color / those actively and often violently oppressed by the status quo. We need to step the fuck up.

Mail Call #9: Michelle Litjens says hello

I am thrilled to report that none other than former state rep Michelle Litjens wrote a letter to the editor in response to my recent column making the case for why we need more women in politics, tying it to legislation over women's health and reproductive rights. Litjens, if you don't remember, was part of the Republican controlled Legislature that passed Act 10 (the extreme, anti-union measure that prompted months of protest in the state), as well as being a hardcore anti-choice, pro-gun advocate. So the ideological bent of her letter should make a bit more sense, in that context. I appreciate that she took time to respond, so I've done the same (in bold, below):

In response to Emily Mills’ article on Oct. 23, “Needed: More women in politics,” while she is absolutely correct about that statement she is completely wrong about others (Crossroads).

We do need more women in politics. When I served in the Legislature, women were less than a quarter of the representatives. But I am unaware of any “institutional and systemic barriers” to women running for office. In fact, the common saying is true: “When women run, women win.” That's just...not a factual statement. Lots of women lose their races. I'm not even say they always lose because of sexism, but to claim that women always win when they run just doesn't make any damn sense. Also, just because you, a single human being, are "not aware" of certain things does not mean those don't exist. This is a fairly straight-forward concept for most.

Women are less likely to run for office because of lifestyle choices candidates are forced to make every day. Will a candidate attend a pancake breakfast, church picnic, fall festival or his or her kid’s basketball game? This choice is easier for a man to make than a woman. Not because society says so, but because women say so. She lost me here. This makes no actual sense. Is she arguing that men have an easier time putting work before their family? I'm honestly not even sure, this statement is so convoluted. Regardless of the details, though, those "choices candidates are forced to make every day" and how men vs. women respond to them is very much tied up in those aforementioned institutional and systemic barriers--a culture that demands completely different levels of accountability from for mothers vs fathers, pays women less for their work, etc.

My exception to Mills’ article is her comments about third-term abortions. It isn’t true that “hardcore anti-abortion activists continue to spout harmful lies” about third-term abortions. Maybe Mills was unaware that abortionist Kermit Gosnell of Philadelphia was sentenced to life in prison for murder. Aaaand PIVOT.

In the grand jury’s report, Gosnell didn’t call it murder, he called it “ensuring fetal demise.” And how did he accomplish this demise? The jury wrote, “The way he ensured fetal demise was by sticking scissors into the back of the baby’s neck and cutting the spinal cord. He called that ‘snipping.’ ” Kermit Gosnell's case is an aberration, and does not reflect anything remotely close to medical best practices in terms of abortion procedure and women's health. He was (rightfully) punished for gross malpractice. What he was doing is already illegal even with the protections provided by Roe v. Wade. And it was a single case. Litjens has long been an advocate for doing away with abortion rights, and during her time in the Legislature sponsored bills that significantly chipped away at (especially rural) women's right to access comprehensive and scientifically-based reproductive care.

Please, Ms. Mills, don’t patronize me by saying we need more women in politics because we need more abortion proponents (it was men who upheld Roe vs. Wade). We need more women in office because women bring a different thought process to the room. We contribute ideas during bill draftings that men just don’t think about because of our differing life experiences. She makes my argument for me. Though I do believe the debate over reproductive rights and women's health would be very, very different had women been at the table all along, I also don't for a moment believe all women think exactly alike on that, or any, issue. But Litjens and I are in agreement that we need more women in office because women bring a different thought process and set of experiences to the room.

Elected women are valued for far more than just their reproductive rights. And, I might also remind Mills, that many of us women would end that reproductive right at birth control.

Michelle Litjens
Former state representative
56th District, 2011-’12
Oshkosh

Again, my biggest takeaway here is that Michelle is willfully ignorant of the fact that even she is the product of systemic sexism. It's a little easier when you're a right-leaning white woman, of course, but even then I'm not keen to drive wedges between people who should be fighting to lift each other up over an oppressive system that hurts us all. The first step is learning that we all have different experiences and outlooks, and that just because you personally have not experienced something doesn't invalidate that experience for someone else. And that just because you, personally, would not make a certain decision--doesn't give you the right to dictate whether or not it might be the right thing for someone else.

Mail Call #8: Men would like me to think about Bill Clinton

Catching up with emails in response to my recent article about Trump and rape culture. SO MANY men, all saying the exact same damn thing, like broken, paternalistic mandroids:

Emily not once did you mention Bill Clinton in your article? Something to think about.

...

I was reading your column in the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel regarding the treatment of woman at the hands of rich and powerful men and I notice something that was conspicuously absent. There wasn’t any mention of former president Bill Clinton.

...

Didn't see Bill Clintons name even once in your column. It's really sad that liberal journalists can bring themselves to cover an issue from both sides.

...there are a lot of people who can't tell the difference between reporters and opinion columnists, y'all.

These entries go on, and on.

Let me put this simply:

1. Bill Clinton is not currently running for president. Trump is.
2. Trump is on tape bragging about committing sexual assault.
3. Hillary Clinton is not personally responsible for any crimes her husband may have committed.

I will end on this incredibly on-point post made by a friend of a friend, because it should be the most important take away from all of this:

WE DON'T GET TO PICK WHICH VICTIMS WE BELIEVE BY WHICH CANDIDATE THEY SUPPORT

Liberal friends: you know what's not cool? Posting a link to allegations of rape against Trump and then trying to demonize Juanita Broaddrick et al for allegations against Bill Clinton. You're not forensic investigators. You're not gonna blow holes in decades-old rape cases, and you damn well shouldn't be trying.

Conservative friends: you know what's not cool? Defending Trump's harassment and rape and misogyny by pointing out someone else did those things, too. That doesn't make it ok! Two people doing rape just means both people are horrible! Also unfair: making Hillary culpable for all of her husband's sins. She certainly has things to answer for, but she didn't rape anybody. Keep that in mind, please.

Oh, are there inconsistencies in someone's story? Yeah, I bet if you ask me about my rape you'll find inconsistencies in mine; it was years ago and, you know, traumatic. Do these accusers have something to gain? Maybe, but I can tell you as a fact that they probably suffer a lot more than they gain by making up stories like this; look at the way all these women have been dragged through the mud for decades. Rape has a false reporting rate of about 4%, just like most other crimes. While it's possible these stories are made up, it's very very very likely that they are not, especially when so many women have come forward.

Listen up, y'all: WE DON'T GET TO PICK WHICH VICTIMS WE BELIEVE BY WHICH CANDIDATE THEY SUPPORT. If you want justice for rape victims (and you damn well better) then you need to accept that even someone you support might be a horrible person, even if this fact makes your decision making suddenly very morally fraught and messy.

So if you are outraged about Trump or Bill Clinton, that's good! It's good to be outraged about people who molest, demean, assault, and otherwise abuse others. But don't act like your opponent's accusers are all telling the truth while the ones accusing your team are all liars. Every victim deserves justice.

Mail Call #7: Trumping Reason (or coherence)

Trump supporters continue to spout confusing word salads at me. I think this person is anti-clean water and voting because of abortion? Or something? You decide:

It is amazing how progressives pick and choose among 'human rights'.  Finding from the right to life a right to feticide.  Finding a right to vote.  Finding a right to my environment's clean water.

Finding, from the right to life, a right to defense of life but not the Right to Keep and Bear Arms.

Truly Meme Magic.  The Alternative Right is right.  TRUMP 2016

On a more positive note, I've gotten a much higher than normal volume of positive email responses to my column about the Clinton/Trump debate, largely from women, and specifically largely from older women who express how much relief and righteousness they felt at seeing what they've been experiencing their whole lives put into words. I find this incredibly humbling and gratifying, but also infuriating that so many women have had to suffer these indignities in relative silence for so damn long.

No. Fucking. More.

Mail Call #6: The Eloquence of Trump Supporters

I don't even know. I'm not even sure which of my columns this was in response to:

Don, Ron, and Mike Trump Hillary, Russ and Little Tommy Nelson! Defend your sick candidate and spin some more lies! Really tired of the Limousine Liberals. the super rich hypocrites on the left! We don't care about how much money Trump has or had, we care about our country getting back to some kind of normal and stopping this social engineering and corruption of our young! Who's the Hillary body double? Unreal how they're trying to snooker the great masses who can't read beyond social media headlines. Signed by One of the Deplorables and wearing it proudly...

Mail Call #5: Pro-plagiarism!

Another week, another logically incoherent email response to a column. Today's installment comes in reply to my recent piece on the Republican National Convention garbage fire.

Emil (you were Emil before you became Emily, right) You seem to have a problem with the passage that Melanie Trump used from michelle obama’s speech which was written by others by the way. Would you have preferred her to use the words that she (obama) uttered in another a speech, “ this is the first time in my life I am proud to be an American”. Ya she said that. Quite sure she wrote that herself. Possible help from barry . You could have written, thank god she (Melanie) didn’t use the words “this is the first time in my life I am proud to be an American’ The fact is Melanie Trump is very proud to be an American all of the time. I guess michelle obama is occasionally when it suits her purpose . Hey, keep up the quality freelance writing in Madison. “The peoples republic of Madison”

Enjoy your rigged convention That would be a great topic for next Sunday’s freelance writing

does “freelance writing” mean they won’t pay you for your efforts???

I'd like to note that I find no insult in being "accused" of being transgender (I am not), and if you open your letter with such a random and transphobic remark, you've effectively ceded your ability to actually win the argument. Of course, folks like this don't really care about changing anyone's mind. They just want to continue feeling superior in their own minds, without having to actually reflect on and analyze what they're spouting. Because the rest of this letter is a totally weird mishmash that, I think, is trying to excuse Melania Trump's (or her speech writer's) plagiarism because at least she used the positive parts of Michelle Obama's speech and not a taken-out-of-context and frequently misunderstood bit from another of her speeches from years ago.

Or something. Who knows anymore. 

I also enjoy the bit where this person seems to utterly misunderstand what the term "freelance" means.

Mail Call #4: GOBMENT

In response to my article about Sen. Ron Johnson's attempt to let private charter schools take public money without any oversight or accountability - all errors are the email author's:

In your opinion and that of the journal, let’s keep all those failing kids in failing schools to keep the low life education machine well greased with (MY) taxpayer money.  Don’t give , the only real Senator this state has had since well before you liberal communist/socialists where BORN a chance.  Senator Johnson has been trying to help the kids ( YOU) the liberals, have placed into a second class role in the lib society!  Keep them poor and dependent on “GOBMENT” programs for existance. The liberal way to keep them voting for the loosers in the world of politics!  Don’t believe that...look at your dismal record of failure after failure and open your socialist eyes!

Aside from the part where this person completely misses the point I was making, their email is certainly an argument in itself for higher standards and proper funding for education. Clearly, they suffer from its lack.

Mail Call #3: Votes for No One I Dislike

I wrote about how Voter ID disenfranchises people. As usual, folks got angry:

You are the most in competent IDIOT liberal of them all!If one does not have the Brains or minimal effort to get a voter ID they DO NOT have the right to Vote!You and the other Liberal,America haters want to vote for them!Trump will Win and America will put you and others like you back in the septic tank you crawled out of!

Trump will put us all back into the septic tank. Now that's comforting. Do folks listen to themselves when they write this shit?

And a two-fer for you today:

You liberals always have something to cry about. What is wrong about having an ID to vote. If voter fraud is unheard of as you claim why worry about it. The reason you guys are so upset is because you are worried. there is something to the lefty cliche "Make sure you vote and vote often". You guys have to gather up people from cemeteries, prisons and people with dementia from nursing homes to cast a vote. The rest are young people who are still wet behind the ears and easy to deceive. This leaves a balance of people who votes are bought . The group that wants more free this and free that. You cater to minorities like Blacks and Latino's and promise them anything as long as they vote for the Democrats. That leaves the rest of us who labor hard and are the ones Liberals to pay all these freebies, and we just want to make sure you don't pull the wool over ours eyes. Conservatives are harder to fool than the liberals Some day the liberal base might wise up but I doubt it, at least as long as you are running the schools and universities, where you shout down any opposing views and spread lie upon lie.

Lots of unfounded and actively disproved dog whistling in this one.

Mail Call #2: "Your small problem"

This one is just plain difficult to parse, but came in response to one of my articles in support of equal/safe/fair access to bathroom facilities for transgender folks.

I swear, some people's children:

I was only a young boy when I realized I wanted to get the ole snip snip. Not until recent times have I been able to muster enough mental and physical strength to cut through my 14 inch fire hose. After all is said and done I love being a born again woman, but have to say I disagree with your article on transgender bathroom rights. If I'm a boy I should use the boys bathroom and if I'm a girl I should use the girls bathroom. I don't want any degenerates or sickos in my bathroom while I'm trying to peacefully do my business. All in all I think you're plain wrong so please quit your job because it's not that big of a deal and I'm sorry you look like a man but don't take it out on the anti transgender people because your problem can be easily solved.

Please stop lashing out about your small problem and find something else to do, thank you.

Really hitting a lot of the finer points here:

• Weirdly disjointed commentary on his own gender identity, alleged penis size (natch) 
• Transphobia! Transmisogyny!
• Nice little attempted jab about me "looking like a man" (I look like me, no apologies needed)
• Urging me to "quit my job" (this column writing business is freelance but you'd be amazed how many people seem to think I'm employed full time by MJS) because his opinion differs
• Belittling of what is a very real, very serious issue for a lot of folks by calling it a "small problem"

Sadly, this email is pretty representative of the super hateful, misguided, fearful, gross commentary I've received every time I write about transgender rights. I've hesitated to post any of it, frankly, because lord knows my trans friends don't need more of this disgusting vitriol in their lives, but I also want to show everyone else exactly the kind of hurtful shit trans people have to deal with all the time. It shouldn't be up to them to shut it down, either - that's the role of us, the allies.

So speak the fuck up whenever and wherever you hear anything remotely like this being spewed. Point out why it's wrong, why it's hurtful, why it matters - how much easier it is just to be decent to one another. Dollars to donuts the email writer above could have used a lot more of said decency in their life, too, to have steered them away from the clearly confused, ignorant, and fearful place they're in now.

Take care of each other.