Mail Call #2: "Your small problem"

This one is just plain difficult to parse, but came in response to one of my articles in support of equal/safe/fair access to bathroom facilities for transgender folks.

I swear, some people's children:

I was only a young boy when I realized I wanted to get the ole snip snip. Not until recent times have I been able to muster enough mental and physical strength to cut through my 14 inch fire hose. After all is said and done I love being a born again woman, but have to say I disagree with your article on transgender bathroom rights. If I'm a boy I should use the boys bathroom and if I'm a girl I should use the girls bathroom. I don't want any degenerates or sickos in my bathroom while I'm trying to peacefully do my business. All in all I think you're plain wrong so please quit your job because it's not that big of a deal and I'm sorry you look like a man but don't take it out on the anti transgender people because your problem can be easily solved.

Please stop lashing out about your small problem and find something else to do, thank you.

Really hitting a lot of the finer points here:

• Weirdly disjointed commentary on his own gender identity, alleged penis size (natch) 
• Transphobia! Transmisogyny!
• Nice little attempted jab about me "looking like a man" (I look like me, no apologies needed)
• Urging me to "quit my job" (this column writing business is freelance but you'd be amazed how many people seem to think I'm employed full time by MJS) because his opinion differs
• Belittling of what is a very real, very serious issue for a lot of folks by calling it a "small problem"

Sadly, this email is pretty representative of the super hateful, misguided, fearful, gross commentary I've received every time I write about transgender rights. I've hesitated to post any of it, frankly, because lord knows my trans friends don't need more of this disgusting vitriol in their lives, but I also want to show everyone else exactly the kind of hurtful shit trans people have to deal with all the time. It shouldn't be up to them to shut it down, either - that's the role of us, the allies.

So speak the fuck up whenever and wherever you hear anything remotely like this being spewed. Point out why it's wrong, why it's hurtful, why it matters - how much easier it is just to be decent to one another. Dollars to donuts the email writer above could have used a lot more of said decency in their life, too, to have steered them away from the clearly confused, ignorant, and fearful place they're in now.

Take care of each other.

The importance of true names and true pronouns

This should be a very simple concept.

The soldier once known as Bradley Manning has come out as a trans* woman and would henceforth like to be called Chelsea.

People change their names all the time. Or start going by a nickname. We listen, we learn, we use the new, preferred name. Easy.

For reasons of long-held and very misguided cultural norms and biases, however, when a person comes to terms with being trans* and wishes to be addressed in a way that validates their correct gender identity, a great hew and cry goes up from the masses.

In the Manning case, even many of the major media outlets can't even seem to handle this most basic of requests. FOX News I expected, though it is still sad. When I read a statement from an NPR spokeswoman that "Until Bradley Manning’s desire to have his gender changed actually physically happens, we will be using male-related pronouns to identify him,” however, I was dismayed.

If even this, one of those most stalwartly neutral news outfits in the country, can't get it right? We really are in trouble.

It doesn't matter how you feel about Manning's actions in the Wikileaks case. That's almost an entirely separate issue (though there may be something to the defense's pointing out that the military's attitudes toward trans* people probably didn't help her depression and sense of isolation).

Words matter. They represent our attitudes toward an entire section of the population that is still largely marginalized, dehumanized, abused, and worse.

And this should be simple. It does no one a bit of harm to do a quick mental recalibration and begin referring to someone by their preferred pronouns. And guess what? It does that person a world of good. Why do anything else, then?

New York Magazine was one of the few outlets that not only got it right, but seems to really get it:

"Why is it so hard for people to type an extra s when they write about Manning? We updated our nomenclature for "Snoop Lion" and "the Artist Formerly Known as Prince." "Ali Lohan" and "Lil' Bow Wow" became "Aliana" and "Bow Wow" to reflect personal growth. We accept typographical requests from branded products like iPhone, PowerPoint, and eHarmony — and from branded humans like Ke$ha, A$AP Rocky, and 'N Sync. (The last being unusual even without the asterisk.) The idiosyncrasies of capitalism, apparently, are more compelling than a human's self-professed gender."

What does qualify as a problem, of course, is our society's continued insistence on erasing trans* identities or, worse, causing violence to them.

These are our neighbors, friends, family members, co-workers. There is nothing threatening about their identity. There is something threatening about a culture that still holds such ignorance and disdain for them.

I hope others will join me in calling on outlets like NPR to change their attitudes and policies immediately. This isn't acceptable, and silence is complicity.

Overdue Milestone

I remembered to check the little application that tracks visits to this here blog just now, and was very happy to see that we've far exceeded 1,000 visits. There are millions of blogs out there, and I recognize that my little slice of the 'sphere is pretty insignificant in the grand scheme of things. But it's cool to know that a few people have taken the time to stop by for a visit, so thanks very much for that.

My grandest, most egotistical hopes for this blog are just that I'm adding something small of merit to the public discourse. The really important stuff, thankfully, still happens out there in the real world.

Also of note is that today is the start of Transgender Awareness Week right here in town on the UW Campus. The LGBT Campus Center is hosting a series of events all week, both educational and recreational, to highlight the issue. If you're well-aware of the issues or totally in the dark, be sure to check out at least one or two of the events.